Ah, 30 years ago. The days when I thought the most important decision in my life was what variety of cheap sparkling wine to buy or whether I could go without food to purchase a hair crimping iron (it was the early 90s). Back then, investing, not even sure I knew what it was and certainly KiwiSaver didn’t exist. Had it even come up in conversation (which it didn’t because I was so much more focused on hitting karaoke bars Thursday – Saturday in Wellington where I grew up), it would have felt as distant as quantum physics – complex, confusing, and probably best left to someone else that was vaguely interested in atom stuff. Little did I know that one day I’d be working in an investment firm, surrounded by words like “diversification” and “compound returns” instead of “party tonight?”

So, if I could go back in time and drop some investment wisdom on my younger self (right between convincing myself not to buy one shoulder overalls), here is what I would tell me:

1. Start early, chick. Seriously!
Yes, I know saving money feels like a personal betrayal of the fun-loving spirit, but future-you will thank you. Time is your best friend when it comes to investing. Compound returns are magical. Like Harry Potter, but with numbers. It’s the secret sauce to growing wealth – money making money on the money you’ve already made. If I had opened an investment fund account and regularly thrown in a few dollars in each week or month after that, instead of spending my spare cash on Oasis CDs, I’d probably be lounging on a yacht by now (well, possibly not but I am embellishing here to illustrate a point).

2. Diversify, Diversify, Diversify.
Putting all your money into shares in one company or one asset class is like betting all your chips on one number at the roulette table. Sure, you could win big, but you’re more likely to walk away with nothing but regret and an empty wallet. I wish I had known that spreading investments across different classes – shares, bonds, real estate, etc was the adult version of not keeping all your ice cream in one bowl. And trust me, future-you doesn’t want to lose all the ice cream.

3. Patience, Grasshopper.
Young me, I get it. The urge to check your account balance on your Milford app every five minutes is real. But successful investing is like slow-cooking – set it up, check in every now and then, but let it marinate over time. Trying to time the market is like trying to predict when the next viral dance craze will hit TikTok: you’ll probably be wrong, and you’ll definitely feel ridiculous.

4. Risk Is Inevitable – But Manage It.
I used to think that “risk” was a fancy word thrown around by financial peeps to sound smart. Turns out, it’s real. But the key is knowing how much risk you’re comfortable with and managing it with the right type or mix of investments.

In conclusion, past me, if you’re reading this from another dimension – start investing now. But also, maybe hold off on buying more off the shoulder overalls, they made your bum look big.